You just had a bad day at work, you’re tired, hungry and your kids are at each other’s necks. Moody and irritated you find yourself screaming on top of your lungs.
Your tolerance and patience have run out and your natural response to their misbehaving is yelling to get them back on line.
At the moment, it feels like a good idea as a deafening silence fills the room and their little eyes begin to well up.
Did it work? Sadly, no.
Remorseful as they may be, it may harm your children’s psychologically in the long run. Yelling is also downright damaging to their fragile esteems.
This unhealthy form of communication may lead to a fight, flight or freeze reaction especially if they are much younger.
If this happens every day, it may be ingrained in the children and may be how they react as they grow up – used to yelling and yelling at other people.
Here are some tips on how you can parent effectively without having to yell.
i.Go for warnings
Before you lose it, let your kids know they are pushing you, and you are about to yell or come down on them in an unpleasant way.
This way, they will take the caution seriously and stop doing whatever it is that’s driving you crazy.
While at it, if it’s something that doesn’t involve fighting over a toy or them picking on each other, give them a few minutes to finish whatever it is they are doing that had caught their attention.
It doesn’t hurt to make a little compromise to avoid unnecessary crying and all the negative feelings that may follow thereafter.
You’ve probably heard this a million times but trust me, it will serve you and the children well. This is because your emotions are contagious.
If you go all crazy on them, they will act the same way. But if you’re calm so will they be.
Remember your children are still young and they don’t understand things the same way you do.
And if they’re struggling with something like their assignments or getting out of bed do not yell at their most vulnerable state.
This will only hurt them and increase their fear and anxiety.
Always remain calm and kind and remind yourself they are only children.
iii.Take a break
Before exploding in front of your children and making things worse, consider looking for ways to destress and let the anger out instead of taking it out on them.
If you have to physically leave the room to scream or send your spouse over to handle it, do so to calm down then come back when you’re feeling much better.
This will help with self-control and soon you will be reacting differently whenever they’re misbehaving.
iv.Identify your triggers
By now you already know which bad behaviors and annoying habits drive you up the wall. For your kids to keep their cool use a different approach.
Don’t start yelling but go in with a pleasant soft voice. If they don’t respond, get closer, hold their hands and repeat.
v.Try some humor
Sometimes all you have to do to distract them from bad behavior is using some humor. Tickle them or mimic a cartoon voice to get their reaction.
They will forget they were crying and you can use this opportunity to be playful then give them the necessary instructions.