Man Collapses, dies in the “line of duty” in a Nairobi guest room

By Jerome ogolla via FB

SAD NEWS

We lost another soldier in the line of duty yesterday in the city

According to police, Miriam Wangare reported that that they were in the middle of a tik-tak football match when her boyfriend, Frederick Kyalo made a sharp sound and collapsed

She quickly called for help and a taxi was brought to take him to hospital, but on arrival at Mama Lucy Hospital in Nairobi, the doctors declared him long gone

He went while cumming. Nonetheless, we thank the lady for trying her level best in saving the life of our paratrooper on an away assignment

Previously we’ve heard of ladies fleeing the scene once they notice we are dying, quickly and permanently

To all askaris out there, remember the 1:59 seconds, inclusive of the preamble. You must abide by that law, to help us flatten the curve

However, if you intend to go beyond that, you must eat at least a pair of the grenade of a billy and share the photos with the monk, for a letter of approval

To the gender which had a handshake with a puff adder in Eden, when you see us vibrate like an earthquake, don’t just think we are firing live ammunition, and it is time to cling on tightly, no, we could be kicking the bucket and so it is time to call an ambulance

Everyone of this gender must have the telephone numbers of the local county ambulance driver in these hard times. Lastly remember, so far, no female human has died during intimacy and no male human has died of the same, during home fixtures…..they only die in away matches

Maybe we should impose curfews on away matches as a temporary measure to help flatten the curve. Or we ban the home matches because they are the ones “finishing the energy” that would be shared home and away matches?

Good morning my fellow Hoof-Eaters!!